


This Loss of Sleep Over You

by punk_rock_yuppie



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Other, hurt comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 01:28:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5608597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punk_rock_yuppie/pseuds/punk_rock_yuppie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hiro lets out a noise of frustration; it’s not a soft grunt or even a groan of annoyance, it’s instead shrill and loud and tinged with hysteria.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Loss of Sleep Over You

**Author's Note:**

> More angst and exploration of Hiro's feelings about Tadashi's death. Not meant to be romantic Hiromax, but if you take it that way that's cool too.

Hiro lets out a noise of frustration; it’s not a soft grunt or even a groan of annoyance, it’s instead shrill and loud and tinged with hysteria. Hiro slams his hands on his desk and with one large, swift move he shoves everything off the surface. The bits and pieces of his bots clatter to the floor and the papers flutter, scatter around him. He seethes, grabbing the few scraps of paper left on his desk and ripping them to pieces.

Hiro stares at the mess around him; he feels tears gather in the corners of his eyes. Outside, snow is falling and it’s a bitter reminder of both why he’s here and why he wants to leave. It’s Christmas, and Tadashi died six months ago now. Tadashi was the whole reason for Hiro coming here, attending San Franksokyo Institute of Technology. Tadashi was the one who’d raised him, encouraged him, gathered him up in a hug at his lowest points. Tadashi was his big brother, Tadashi was _supposed_ to be there forever.

Hiro wipes angrily at his tears, practically punching himself in the eye. He hiccups in pain and stumbles backwards. He walks away from the desk, yet never taking his eyes off the disaster, until he crumples to the floor, against the wall. Hiro draws his knees to his chest and presses his forehead to his shivering skin.

It’s his first Christmas without Tadashi and it _hurts_. His head hurts, his stomach hurts, and his heart hurts—it feels like there’s an enormous, gaping hole in his chest that won’t heal properly. It feels like just when Hiro thinks he won’t hurt anymore, that he’s overcome Tadashi’s death, something happens and the wound peels open twice as wide. It feels like the pain in his chest is consuming him from the inside out; he feels like he’s drowning in anguish.

Hiro feels the tears stream rapidly down his cheeks before he can stop them. Try as he might to wipe them away, Hiro can’t keep up with the way they stain his cheeks. The sleeves of his sweatshirt are quickly soaked and his face feels clammy, entire face damp with tears. He’s sobbing, gasping for air in panic between each shuddering exhale.

He doesn’t realize he’s in the air until his foot kicks involuntarily. Hiro flails, arms darting out to reach for leverage and grip on something. He makes a wet, alarmed noise, panic rises in his throat and he starts to kick and hit whatever it is that’s wrapped around him.

“I am here, Hiro. Please calm down.” Baymax says softly, and it’s then that Hiro realizes why he can’t feel the ground or why he can’t really move. He’s pressed tightly against Baymax’s chest, wrapped in the plush arms and being coddled. Another soft cry escapes him but the panic fades. Baymax nuzzles the top of Hiro’s head. “I am here.”

Hiro feels slightly ridiculous. He had a small growth spurt in the past six months, and he feels ridiculous in Baymax’s arms. But he also feels safe, warm, like the hole in his chest is less gaping. He looks up and meets Baymax’s stare. Baymax blinks slowly and squeezes Hiro a little tighter.

“I know it is hard, Hiro.” Baymax shifts Hiro in his arms, so that he’s holding Hiro with just one arm. He uses his free hand to comb through Hiro’s hair. “But Tadashi would be proud of you.” Baymax carries Hiro over to the sofa in the lab. “I know you miss him.” Baymax settles onto the couch, situating Hiro in his lap. “But Tadashi would be very proud of you. He would not want you to give up.”

Hiro scrubs at his face, sniffling.

“I am here, Hiro.”

Hiro nods. “I know buddy, I know you are.” He slides forward to drape himself over Baymax’s stomach. “Thanks.” Baymax’s stomach glows a soft pink and Hiro—already exhausted from stress and crying—feels himself start to drift off. As Baymax’s arms settle over his back, holding him tight and keeping him safe, Hiro lets himself fall asleep.


End file.
